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| >LATEST METS GOSSIP > Screw Us All | ||||||||||
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| -0/6-/08 | Tonight's Trivia Question | |
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Doc Gooden holds the record for hitting the most home runs as a pitcher at Shea. Retire his number already you racist pigs!
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| -0/5-/08 | R.I.P Geremi González | |
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Yesterday, while standing on a pier on a beach in Venezuela, x-Met pitcher Geremi González (he wore orange-n-blue briefly in 2006) was struck by lightning and killed. He was only 33.
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| -0/5-/08 | 2008 Season: Up in Smoke Already | |
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Jesus Christ the Mets blow. The only team they can beat are the Yankees. Fire Willie. Cut loose Omar. Shoot Delgado in his head. Quarter Castillo. Gas Heilman. Send Reyes to obedience school. Trade Beltran. Put Alou in a wheelchair and roll him off the Brooklyn Bridge. Let's face it-- this season is OVER-- so let's try and enjoy it-- bring up Tobi Stoner-- the blazing star for the A ball St. Lucie Mets! The Mets have already hit rock bottom so there's no time like the present to get high!
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| -0/5-/08 | Baseball's All-Time Biggest Scumbags | |
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| -0/4-/08 | Screw Us All | ||
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When Carlos Delgado smacked his second homer of the day yesterday, the temperamental Mets fans in attendance burst into cheer. Delgado took his prideful stroll around the bases and returned to a dugout stirring w/ pleased comrades. The two-faced fan fuckers were now reaching celebratory rage: hollering and hooting, demanding a curtain call. Delgado never left the dugout. Now if I were at Shea yesterday, after Delgado was announced in the starting lineup over the loud speaker, I would've shouted something like: "Go home and breast feed your baby Carlos— you're done!" And if I were Carlos, there's no fuckin way I would've acknowledged the pathetic mass of losers that are in part paying me handsomely to play games w/ my extremely wealthy friends. So two wrongs do make a right. So fuck you Carlos and fuck us all-- lets just get our shit together and get on the same page by the time it's time to bitch-slap the Yankees! And as word has it, man down! ....and the winner is: Jorge "I Have Never Been on the DL Until Now" Posada.
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| -0/4-/08 | Exclusive Photo - WTF - Giambi Update | |
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Exclusive Photo : George Kaplan sneaks behind-the-scene and captures the FIRST EVER photograph of Citi Field! WTF: On TBS this afternoon, Ron Darling did the color commentary for the Braves game with Braves announcer Southern Joe Hillbilly. Does he do this on the regular? Ronnie, baby, what the fuck?!?!?!??!?!? Update: Three weeks into the season and Jason Giambi continues to tickle our funny bone: he's batting .109 (George Kaplan's average blood alcohol content is higher than that)
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| -0/4-/08 | Get Well Soon Jason! | |
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Bad Mets would like to send speedy recovery wishes to Jason Giambi. The great Giambino, not starting tonite at The Stadium against the Tampa Bay Devils, somehow injured his groin yesterday. The Wicked Web told us that he's available to pinch hit tonight and should start tomorrow. Phew. Cuz with a glove and without the 'roids, his persistent piss-poor performance (he's currently batting .083) is gonna be a blast!
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| -0/3-/08 | Safety Net for the Injury Bug | |
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Desperate times call for desperate measures. Pick up the phone, Omar. Fred. Open up your wallet. Sign both Bonds and Sosa to MINOR league contracts for an INSANE amount of loot. Next, commission the undetectable steroid. If Church and/or Pagan and/or (God forbid) Chavez the Great are out for an extended time, bring the juice heads up. No matter how well they perform, banish them back to the minors as soon as the DL'ers heal. And one more thing Fred, if I may. Could you hire me as a ball boy for all the playoff games? Thanks Fred, I owe you one. Lets Go Mets!
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| -0/1-/08 | Omar: Pretend You're Johnny Thunders | |
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Dear Omar: Nuff already. We all know you went to Newtown High School-- now start acting like it. Start acting like the late and great fellow Newtown alumni Johnny Thunders-- and waste the fuckin future on present pleasures! Trade the farm for Santana! Yeah, Met fans are Born to Lose and the plaster's falling of Shea Stadium walls and we're all crying in the shower stalls and this summer's gonna be hot as a bitch and we all shoulda been rich (like Wilpon) but we're all diggin this fuckin Yankee ditch-- so cook up the trade and shoot us up some Santana! Love, Bad Mets
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| -0/1-/08 | Roger Clemens : Lying Steroid Junkie | |
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Let's take a look at Mike Wallace: He was born in 1918 (he's fuckin 89 years old) and is a Yankee fan and a personal friend of Clemens. His 60 Minutes interview with Clemens will take place Sunday night. We hear that incase Wallace can't make it due to one of the many old man ailments that may arise, Clemens will get his mom to do the interview. This is such a crock of shit. This is like George Kaplan having Ru Paul interview him to clear his good name. Let's be real. What is needed for truth to prevail in this interview with Clemens is the following: A steel cage, Joe Beningo, Mad Dog Russo, and a jar of greenies.
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| -0/1-/08 | A Good Shemale is Hard to Find | |
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Week 3. Still no lead. Casting for George Kaplan's ballet continues. BadMets inquired about the delay and Kaplan sent us the following email: "Listen. Casting's been a bitch. Creative confusion has lead to bills up the wazoo. Time is Monet. And so are them tutus, chi-chis, ... and them whatayacallits-- blam blams. Sheeeeeiiit. You know me: I ain't no shemale expert." \
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